For the past few months, this blog has seen very few posts. I wouldn’t mind the gaps if I felt I had nothing to add or was just so busy that posting had to move to the back burner, but that is the opposite of what has actually been going on. Don’t get me wrong, I do get busy like everyone else, but I also have had more time than needed to write. I also have had some short spurts where I felt that I have nothing pressing to add to write, but the truth is, through the long gaps on the blog, I have had so much I needed to write.
I have spent some time thinking about how I needed to write so badly as a release for everything I was thinking and feeling and why I kept myself from actually doing it. I wrote off and on in a personal journal this past year, but not as much as I would have liked. After some reflection these past couple of weeks, I think I held myself back from writing because I was scared of where it would lead me. I was scared of facing the dark side of myself, especially in the public space of my WordPress blog. I am still a little anxious about writing down such personal things on an internet site that is open to the public, but I keep reminding myself that there is a reason I opened a WordPress account in the first place. I wanted my thoughts to be open. I wanted to share a piece of myself with others, even if it is from the hidden space behind a computer screen.
The past 11 months, the time I lived in Israel, brought out wonder and demons within me. I think many emotions were just too powerful to face when they were so fresh, but I am hoping now, with new found courage, I can write more honestly and openly about where my journey has led me in the past few months and where I am going in the future.