Butterflies are something you feel on your first day of kindergarten, before you speak in front of a large group, or right before you walk down the aisle to get married. Today, I am feeling those butterflies.
I am attending my first class of a year long program at my local synagogue for those wishing to convert or just learn more about Judaism. I have been to the synagogue multiple times for special events and recently started attending more regularly. I also have taken multiple classes on Judaism in an academic setting at my university. And yet, I just feel that there is something special about today and what it signifies for the larger picture. With today’s class, I am moving forward, even if just a tiny step. I am entering further into the community. It is scary but exciting.
This entire process has been filled with moments of confronting the unknown, such as walking into a synagogue for the first time and telling loved ones about my decision to convert. This is not the first time I am feeling butterflies during my process of conversion and I am sure it will not be my last. Nerves are usually seen as being a stressful, negative experience, but in this case I realize that butterflies are expected and they are there because I care about the journey. If I were apathetic about the conversion process, I would not be experiencing all of these overpowering and uncontrollable emotions. I need to embrace each emotion and experience them fully, the good and bad. I do not know what the class will be like, but I am ready!