Shavua Tov (Good Week).
Shabbat has just ended a few hours ago, and I am thrust back into time amid the final weeks of school. Papers need to be written, and I have more test to study for than I care to think about. It is especially in weeks like these that Shabbat becomes an even more beautiful and necessary part of my life. Shabbat has become a sustaining act in my life, and I hope that it will remain one as I continue to learn how to better guard and remember Shabbat throughout my life.
Shabbat is sacred, but even on Friday night and Saturday, as I try to be holier and closer to God, I am just an ordinary human. I had a wonderful Shabbat yesterday/today, but after shul this morning I couldn’t help but crave some non-kosher food. I had lunch earlier at shul and had prepared food for Shabbat, but all the restaurants I passed kept calling my name. I began to fantasize about stopping in for a cheeseburger or really any food that I haven’t had in a long time.It has been 3 years since I last ate pork, and yet sometimes I just want some pork ribs. It is not only non-kosher food that I sometimes miss. There are many things I am giving up by converting to Judaism. Even on the holiest day, sometimes I just want to go out with friends or watch t.v.
I can fool myself into thinking that all these craving will go away when I become Jewish, but I know better. Being Jewish will not suddenly make me forget how good some non-kosher food is. What is more important is trying to keep the mitzvot (commandments), even when its easier not to. I am not yet obligated by the mitzvot, but I know that becoming Jewish is a process and I should try to adhere by the mitzvot already.
So… I came home after shul to read, nap, and eat a vegan bean burger that I prepared ahead of time.